I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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