turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
