my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
