Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
