Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize