WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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