cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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