well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I FOUND THE LEGS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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