Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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