You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
