you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
