I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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