my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize