he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
