After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize