He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
