She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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