There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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