My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize