the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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