I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize