Soap is not a condiment
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
