i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
