I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
