So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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