I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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