: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize