i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
