after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
not ubering you a puppy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
