Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
