I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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