Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
