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Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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