Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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