I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
