how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
