so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
