my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
