Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
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and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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