my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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