i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
