Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
