she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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