who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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