so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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