We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize