Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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