do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
