This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
