Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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