We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I smell like Dick and happiness
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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