Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
