is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
