It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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