Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
