So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
