She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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