it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
